The beginning of all.

Hey guys, thought I'd write up a story around my Kabal, I haven't really had a whole lot of experience in writing, I'm no author, I honestly don't know how long I'll make this, but depending on what people say etc, then I'll decide, critisism and comments wanted

Chapter one:

Ynasira pressed her cold, pale hand on the railing of her Raider, amply named Xel'Naethrath, translated to lance in the common tongue of humans, coloured dark purple, with bright and gleaming web sails of orange, coloured after the sun to which her Kabal first raided millenias ago.

Ynasira gripped the railing tightly, her thin fingers running slowly over it as she walked to the boarding planks, softly and elegantly she stepped down onto the baron world, her facial visor, glinting green over her eyes, she narrowed them, looking deep into the old wreck of ruins before her, two of her most trusted bodyguards stepped behind her before several followed them, as tall as Ynasira and her fellow Dark Eldar kin were, their armour adorned by cloaks, laced with scales, ripped free from the creatures they had slayed, the cloaked, flowing gently in the breeze, Ynasira turned her head slightly before walking forward, her spiked armour pushing deep into the intoxicating and radiated soil beneath her, slowly and cautiously walking into the ruins.

Ynasira's elite Trueborn guard, grasping at their weapons, powerful enough to pull down tank and mightiest beast a like to a smothering dust of nothingness, carefully they followed their masters steps, one of them, named Ferazae gave a nod back to the vehicle behind them, as soon as she had, the vectro engines fired up, humming with a soft pulsing sound before the vehicle shot away, followed by Venom vehicles a like, circling around the local area, forming some kind of protective circle.

Ynasira and her personal guard walked into the ruin, cloaks dragging across the floor, step after step, the hallways looking dimmer, luckily for them, their helmets had built in Vin'hae night vision, allowing their Eldar to see perfectly, Ynasira reached down, wrapping her fingers around the hilt of her sword, bone white, glinting with green toxins that would stop any heart within seconds, heads turning side to side, gathering intel, scouting the location as if search, moments pass before they reach the chamber they had been heading for, the doors pressed open, decorated with skulls, chains and spikes alike, Ynasira smirked behind her helmet, reading over the ruined runes of her dark kins writing, the group stepped continued, looking deep into the room, Ynasira fixed her gaze upon a glass covered case, inside an ancient data slab, she knew where she exactly was and she grinned, pressing her hands to the side of her helmet, lifting it up with a hiss, gas spraying out from all areas possible, leaving her mouth piece in place, her face as pale as her hands, her eye sockets shadowed with her eyes jet black, she continued walking with her guard to the slab.

Cheers,
sKP

Bravo!

Thanks unorthodoxy! Glad you liked it!

Cheers,
sKP

Chapter Two

Ynasira and her five bodyguard walked into the ruin, Ynasira's eyes fixated on the slab while Ferazae the the rest of her retinue followed cautiously behind their Archon, Ferazae turned her head faintly, ushering commands, "Khelmea, Fehsarith, take that way", Ferazae raised her left arm, pointing her armoured fingers towards the left pillars, dust trickling from the in-caved roof, cracked screens littered the walls, flicking lights blinking in and out of existence due to the back up generators "Iretaez, Lae'ohira" spoke Ferazae quietly as to not disturb Ynasira, before she could speak again she noticed that two had already begun their movement towards the right, Blaster rifles raised, poised ready to remove anything that posed a threat to their liege.

The trueborn stood proud, only few would make it to their rank, they would have to prove their worth, not only to their Archon master but to Ferazae who personally hand picked each and everyone of them for Ynasira, their trials were hard, not just in the sense of physical skills of combat, but each are trained in a specific role.

Khelmea, adorns a spike upon her helmet with runes engraved into the side, a specialist in navigation, able to find the best planets to raid for her master while Fehsarith, the master of the Tezaras death blade, made from a single spine from the deathskittle panther on Ven'rishk Prime, she cut streaks from her eyes over her forehead and cheeks to resemble the animal, her skills are stealth and ambush, Lae'ohira on the other hand, she's very loud when it comes to a fight, sometimes too fanatical, even for a once Wych, she is often seen bathing in the blood of her victims, more so her slaves she keeps chained to the walls, half alive, half dead, kept alive by force, pumped full of neurotoxins, Iretaez is the newest recruit, not yet worthy to carry the entrusted blaster, she carries the default Splinter Rifle that all initiates must carry, passed on from trueborn to newborn, which is what the more veteran guards mockingly call the new recruits, There isn't much known about Iretaez, she is relatively young compared to other dark kin which is why many are cautious of her, she has long blue hair, long enough to touch her lower back, she is often seen sat a top of the raider her master owns, explosions erupting around while she plays with the ends of her hair, quietly talking to herself with a sadistic smile, eyes wide but pure black like the rest of them.

The five trueborn stepped over the rubble beneath them, being as quiet as a Fargazeth huntox mouse, looking deep into each shadow, looking for anything that may stir, Ferazae looked down and to the right, glancing back over her shoulder, hearing a faint scream, followed my a second, then a third, fourth, the five spun on their heels, weapons raising as they did, before they knew it, figures ran through the sun glazed entrance, bleach bone in colour, flaying hair behind their heads, glinting power swords raised above their heads, the deafening screams unique to one kind, the Banshee, their infamous Exarch carrying her dual mirror swords, charging down the hall towards the group, Ynasira grinned, turning around slowly, her scale covered cloak fluttering back around her as she spun around, her sword drawn, she stepped forward, the blade yearning as it crackled and hissed in its movements.

Cheers,
sKP

Chapter three

Ynasira charged forward into the fray, gleaming sword arched around, ready for a swift strike, her body guard had already begun to pour fire into the Banshees, by now only a few yards away, black pulsating shots whistling past their masters head, a shot lands against one of the banshee's this time a different kind of scream heard before dust particles explode into the air as its evaporated into millions of different parts.

Ynasira's sword clashes with the exarch's first sword,, their second swiftly being following in s continuous blow of attacks, the two dance the dance of death, almost elegantly over stone, rock and broken pillar alike, the rest of the banshee's run past the individual dual, more fire raining at them, black blobs of anti matter shooting past them as the dodge and spin between shot, the guard all collectively grumble, awaiting to meet their fate before the soft thudding sound blasts through the collapsed roof, a long piercing black Ray sweeps through the banshee's cutting them all in two with a single lance, the bodies fall to the floor as the Xel'Naethrath reappears, the guard run towards it, grabbing spike, chain and railing a like, Ferazae turns to face Ynasira, about to tell her to fall back but to no avail, she had already severed the head of the exarch and already walking back to her trusted skimmer, head of the banshee firmly in the grasp of her hand, Ynasira stepped onto her vehicle, before it elevated out of the ruin, she glanced down at the data tablet and sighed.

Reaching the peak of the ruined roof, her visor switched back to a bright green, shading her eyes from the bright sun rays, looking around she noticed that a large Eldar Saim-Hann war host had arrived through portals, large colossal wraith knights stride across the desert planes, swords scraping across the sand dunes while windrider jet bikers provided cover, an explosive white light shot past the raider narrowly missing Ynasira's head, she looked, she saw one of her beloved ravagers drop down nose first like a stone in water, exploding as it hit the ground.

Ynasira snarled, ordering the full retreat of her Kabal to the dark city to which they came, she looked back towards the start of the white beam, eyeing up the red vehicle that shot down one of her vehicles, looking over the vehicle she quickly noticed it was a fire prism, she shook her head as the Raider and escorting vehicles veered up, shooting off to the atmosphere to return to their home.

Cheers,
sKP

Chapter four

Xel'Naethrath and its escort host whisked through the planets clouds, slipping through the resistant atmosphere as if a hot knife cutting through butter, the dark kins rebreathers automatically kicking it, their armour, firming up as to stop any bitter cold of space breaking through, their under layered mesh covering their pale white skin.

Ynasira reached to her waist band once reaching to her desired location, several thousand miles from the planets crust, gripping firmly to her Zar'Kelith portal control, pushing her thumb again the button before an enormous rift opened before her as if out of no where, spiked pillars sprung from the centre with runic writing plastered all over, spinning in a circular motion like a hand fan, spreading out with the utmost speed, if you were to blink it'd be too late, she ordered her party into it, the reavers that were following her, streaked orange trails as they zimmed forward in spirals, entering the huge opening that seemed to be almost a water type texture, rippling like a soft breeze ran over a still lake, pure silence was heard as each vehicle eventually entered.


The party entered and exited the portal, reaching the desired destination within milliseconds, Commorragh was busy, hundreds of thousands of not millions of raiders, ravangers, Tantaluses a like skimmered through the floating spiked city, the so called ground was thriving as if an ant colony had been deserved, creatures of all nightmarish thoughts, scuttled around with their kin masters walking before them quickly to teach any who they were, Ynasira ordered her raider to head to her slave pits, one hidden away from most prying eyes, not to draw too much attention from any who wanted to take the Kabal for themselves, moments pass, the sound of cries, struggles and fighting echoing against each wall of the buildings, she smirked gleefully before the raider eventually made landfall on the platform protruding foe the entrance to her keep.

She stepped from her raider, guard following quickly, a young humanoid girl, no much older than twenty quickly ran out to meet them, head lowered, the side of which had been shaved to represent she was owned, the kabals runic favour scarred into the side of her head, the young girl was chained around the wrists, glad in minimal clothing, her eyes smeared with black liner, skin purposely covered in a while cloth as to not annoy her master, Ynasira looked down at the human, almost a foot and a half taller than her even when she was stood up right, she eventually looked away without a word, walking towards her quarters, the slave glanced up slightly before being struck across the face, the girl yelped in pain, whimpering away before being grabbed around the through, being raised to the air by a single grip the girl clenched her eyes in fear, a voice spoke firmly 'open your eyes mortal.' She did, a hiss was heard, the front face plate opened, the girl could barely breath as the visor slid from shielding the owners face, the scared lines racing from the faces eye sockets, Lae'ohira glared into the girls eyes, whispering quietly to the girl, 'I look forward to skinning you piece by piece when my master is finished with you' the girl squirmed and struggled to breath, the dark kins grip vice like, she eventually dropped her, shaking her head as she walked away to catch her kin, pulling her visor off, allowing her hair to fall down over her armour.


Cheers,
sKP

Quote :

Hey guys, thought I'd write up a story around my Kabal, I haven't really had a whole lot of experience in writing, I'm no author, I honestly don't know how long I'll make this, but depending on what people say etc, then I'll decide, critisism and comments wanted

You're certainly off to a good start with your writing.

You have captured the arrogance of the true kin well.

Thanks Cavash, when I personally think of dark Eldar I see them as this noble, even poetic kind, one that, even following the fluff makes them out to be deranged, obsessed with killing because they have/want to and enslaving all for their own pleasure, I personally see them struggling yet elegant, they know they're dying, but I want my Kabal to know and accept that fact, that of course they still get enjoyment out of that.

Is really like to write up the 'social' side of their society but I think many here would strongly dislike it, if you have any suggestions please let me know!

Cheers,
sKP

Chapter Five

The slave gasped with respite, reaching up with both chained hands, touching her throat briefly before quickly scuttling after the group, she walked through the overly sized entrance, it would open up just like the portal, fanning outwards from the centre, this time in shapes of blades.

The slave hurried down the dim hall, covered in drapes of cloth, spikes, braziers of flames and the like, the floor was a deep purple with cream marble running down the centre splitting off into more and more halls like trees sprout branches, the slave walked to the chambers of Ynasira her trueborn guard standing in front of the door, hand on hilt of gun and blade a like, Iretaez, Lae'ohira was stood directly in front of her, long hair running down their armour like a river trying to escape hills to find the sea, Lae'ohira chucked upon seeing the hand mark around the slaves neck before they stepped aside allowing her entrance, the slave walked forward quickly trying to avoid any other kind of assault.

The doors shimmered open, stood directly in front was Ynasira and Ferazae, Ynasira was in a long gown, barely covering any kind of skin, looking upon her the slave would think she had clothes on underneath but in fact was covered in scar and runic tattoos a like, pale white skin seemingly glowing between each tattoo, Ferazae glanced back to eye the slave before whispering to Ynasira, 'your play thing master..', Ynasira glanced back also, peering through her hair, nodding slightly, the slave quickly shifted to the corner, sitting down patiently.

The slaves looked around, shivering due to fear and cold, peering at the creatures merely feet away, the Khymerae hadn't even moved, not caring, not phased the slave was even there, at this point the doors shimmered open once more, the rest of Ynasira's guard walked in, walking towards the two in front of them, at this point, we're looking over a planetary analyse, pointing out several key areas, watching a almost live feed of what was happening on the planets surface, Ynasira spoke with authority saying that she needed the data slab and that she will return there, that she wanted her full Kabal ready for a raid, demanding that her stubborn Scourge turned up this time. The group nodded to her commands and comments, lowering their heads ever so slightly before back peddling before walking out of the room.

The slave quickly stood, near running to her masters side, standing still and quitely almost emotionless, Ynasira looked at her, barely covered in cloth before walking towards a chamber on the side of the room.

Cheers,
sKP