Dark Eldar Jokes

We need Dark Eldar Jokes, please add your best.

Here's some to start the thread.


The Eldar complained to his haemonculus, "I've been to three other haemonculi and none of them agreed with your diagnosis." The haemonculus calmly replied, "Just wait until the autopsy, then they'll see that I was right."


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A Dark Eldar wakes up in a lab bed after a terrible accident and cries to the Haemonculus -
"I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs!!!

"Well of course you can't silly!", replies the Haemonculus... "I've cut off both of your arms."


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What did the one Hexatrix say to the other Hexatrix after a fight?

"You don't always have to be such a soulless Wych"


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What does a Mandrake get when he comes home late for dinner?

The cold shoulder...


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Two mandrakes are eating this guy, one starts at the feet and the other starts at the face. The first Mandrake asks his buddy "How are you doing?"

The 2nd mandrake says "I'm having a ball!"

So the first one says, "Damn, you eat fast...."

Two mandrakes eating a Death Jester, one says to the other "does this taste funny to you?"

What do you call a male Blood Bride?

A Gore Groom

I had actually been already thinking of starting a thread like this after seeing the other joke thread ^^
Better to add my jokes here then:



What does a Syren eat for breakfast?
A healthy sandwych, of course.




A wrack walks into a bar. A big grotesque by the corner greets him:
"Hey buddy, long time no see!"
The wrack answers:
"Man, you have gotten fat!"




A harlequin is dancing around a chasm, leading into Aelindrach. She sings while moving:
"15, 15, 15!"
A kabalite warrior appears, and looks at the harlequin, confused.
"Hey, what are you doing?"
"I am keeping the mandrakes away. You see, 15 is their unlucky number!"
"Really? Can I try?"
"Sure, but quickly, take my place and start dancing!"
The warrior starts dancing around the chasm and sings:
"15, 15, 15!"
Suddenly the harlequin pushes the kabalite into the chasm, and after his screams die out, she starts dancing again, singing:
"16, 16, 16!"

A Farseer walks into a bar, should have seen it coming.

Two haemonculi working in the lab, one says to the other "lend us a hand here"
The other replies " what about the two I gave you last week?"

How many Mandrakes does it take to change a lightbulb?

Three

One to change the lightbulb, the other to behead the first idiot, the third to smash the new lightbulb.

How do you keep a mon-keigh in suspense?