2mm x 2mm Dia are the smallest I use, good for arms, backpacks, minor decorations.
3 x 3 for the top of Reaver flying bases, small MC limbs, Venom fly bases and passengers; my Dark Lance gunners on Raiders/Ravagers are on 3mm magnets, and can still swivel.
I built 3 stalk fly bases for my Raider/Ravagers, with 3mm magnets; if using a single stalk I'd go for 4-5mm, for stability.