The red blade Kabal

I have written up some of the Background for my kabal. There is much more stuff to come like traditions and things but I was so proud of this when I finished it that I had to share it now.


Red Blade Kabal

History
The Red Blade kabal was originally one of the first kabal’s to be founded in Commorragh. It founded by Archon Tak-Alakes, an eldar of the noble houses who escaped the fall in one of the smaller outer cities that quickly became part of Commorragh. She quickly developed the kabal using all of her allies who were also in the city at the time of the fall and its power grew greatly. After a hundred and thirty years Tak-Alakes killed her partner and imprisoned his spirit in a soul trap and then threw the soul trap into a black hole to ensure he was gone forever. Tak-Alakes Gave birth to a child a few months later, she called her child Taakelus. Tak’s influence in Commorragh grew massively and so did her Kabal, Taakelus learned quickly and was a daring young dark eldar; he began to hate his mother’s leadership and believed the kabal was rightfully his, according to legend and rumour he never rested and spent every night torturing slaves in the cruellest ways imaginable but even that was not good enough for him, he was named “The ever wake” by those in the kabal.

In M36 Tak was approached by a young Archon of a small kabal, the young Archon quickly grew attached to Tak, who grew very fond of the young Archon.

In M37 Tak’s partnership lead Taakelus to believe the kabal would be inherited by the young Archon instead of Taakelus. The young Archon adopted the name Mercadus, Taakelus grew more enraged as the days past and became more aggressive, he slaughtered strangers walking along the streets at night and became much more aggressive during real space raids, he used the tactic of facing the enemies leaders head on at the beginning of the battle in order to prove his combat prowess to the rest of the kabal.

Taakelus slowly began to formulate a plan to kill both his mother and her successor. Taakelus made alliances with the Broken Dagger Wych cult and the tortured heart Heamonculi coven in order to gain followers and gain in power. He began to bring more and more of his kabal to his cause.

In M38 Taakelus secretly confronted Mercadus whilst his mother was busy dealing with the hellions that Taakelus hired to distract her. Taakelus invited Mercadus on a real space raid; she accepted the invitation and gathered her small force in preparation. When they emerged in real space they found themselves on a freezing, baron planet completely devoid of life. Taakelus fought with Mercadus the second she realised what he had planned for her. They fought for many hours but eventually Taakelus was the winner, he stole her Huskblade and returned to Commorragh


In the final days of M38 Taakelus slipped some of the glass plague that he had saved into his mothers wine. She died instantly and Taakelus made sure her body was thrown into the same black hole that she had thrown the soul trap containing his father’s soul. Taakelus ruled supreme over his Kabal and had formed long lasting alliances with the Broken Dagger Wych cult, the tortured heart Heamonculi coven, and several hellion gangs and hired a team of Incubi bodyguards. He is Archon of the kabal to this day.

Scourges really don't roam the streets. They have wings. Hellions, maybe... but I don't see that happening either. They operate under gang mentality, as opposed to the mafia mentality of the Kabals. Slaughter the menials. There's no repercussions that way. You kill Scourges, they won't work with you anymore. You kill Hellions, sure, there's always more, but why go out of your way?

The whole black hole thing seems rather cliche. It may be the way you wrote it, but it strikes me as such. Speaking of writing, your Kabal seems rather lack luster. Nothing really makes it stick out as unique or gives it a zing.




Your kabal has been added to the list.

Xelkireth beat me to most of what I was going to comment on, but there are a few more niggling things.

Declaring an heir is the act of a species that recognizes that their rule cannot continue after they die. This is not a concern of the Dark Eldar. Mercadus may have become the most favored Dark Eldar in Tak-Alakes's Kabal, but an Archon openly declaring a favored heir is a de-facto acknowledgement that they do not expect to live long. In a society as obsessed with power and skill as the Kabals, that is a monumentally poor decision.

It is certainly true that Dark Eldar could be the obvious heir, but they would still have to prove themselves strong enough to actually seize control after the previous Archon's death. After all, if the last Archon was weak and stupid enough to leave the Eternal Cycle, how much trust could the other Kabalites put in their judgement?

Given that Tak-Alakes was around during the Fall, there is about five thousand years unaccounted for in her life before the Kabals even came into being. Was she a member of a noble House, Helliarch, or mere slave? Why did she have the means to form a Kabal? I grant that this is more a story about the Kabal itself, but it seems like a fairly big void in the plot you have.

I should probably work on it then. The hellipn thing seemed to work because I am sure hellions could be hired for some reason or another.

I edited it in placea to try and improve it and give it more sence. I hope you enjoy it better now.