The Kabal of the Revenant Shroud

Please note that this background is still in WIP stages-- even the name "Revenant Shroud" is a tentative one so far, as while I do like the sound of the name, it might change depending on the feedback I recieve. With that in mind, here's my background, and please tell me what you think of it. The criticism I recieve will probably help me write a much more concise background later.


To know the story of the Revenant Shroud, one must first know of Scyrex Deledras, the Hollow Lord, the Revenant...he is known by numerous titles and nicknames, but his true nature has, for the longest time, been shrouded in mystery. On Comorragh, his name has been forgotten by all but a select few. There are some who whisper that the master of the Revenant Shroud prefers it this way.

All of the rumours surrounding Scyrex Deledras, no matter how fanciful, all agree on one thing: he is one of the few Dark Eldar who lived during the time of the Fall. Indeed, it is whispered by some that he was considered old even at that time, though if this is the case, then Scyrex must be ancient indeed. Some whisper that he was a mystic and ascetic who eschewed fleeing to the Craftworlds, fleeing instead to the Webway for obscure reasons. Others say that he was one of the many highborn lords who was already a part of the depraved, hedonistic community that thrived on Comorragh. Some whisper still that he was once a member of, or at least had ties to, the twisted individuals who would go on to become known as the Haemonculi.

Regardless of these differing tales, one truth is known: Lord Scyrex Deledras was, for much of Comorragh's history, one of the many few who held on to the reigns of power. Though he controlled but a small portion of High Comorragh, his reign endured for millennia, survivng and thriving while his neighbours and rivals rose and fell in the Dark City's constant dance of betrayal and treachery. Scyrex was almost unmatched in the game of intrigue, and managed to constantly stay one step ahead of his rivals. For much of the Dark City's history, Scyrex Deledras, while not the most powerful lord in the realm, was nonetheless a force to be contended with. Indeed, the rumour even persisted that, alone among all of Comorragh, Scyrex Deledras had a power of divination similar to that of the Craftworld Farseers-- something no one has been willing to believe, for such a thing would endanger the Dark City itself.

Perhaps it was because of Scyrex's rumoured psychic dabblings that the other lords of Comorragh joined forces against him. Others maintain that they eventually realized how truly dangerous a foe he was-- that he had, for milennia, been plotting the downfall of his rivals in a single, masterful stroke. Other rumours still persist that Scyrex was planning to destabilize the fabric of the Dark City itself, to willfully topple the ruling Archons and instead plunge the Dark City into endless anarchy. Whatever the reason, the outcome was the same: Scyrex could not take on so many other noble houses arrayed against him. In open battle, his forces were crushed, and his own personal realm was invaded. He himself was almost killed in single combat with the bloodthirsty Lord Ysorach. Wounded almost unto death, Scyrex and his remaining followers were forced to flee into the Webway, abandoning the Dark City to their rivals.

For years, they drifted through the Webway, cut off and isolated from the dark, twisted place they once called home. As the years passed, so too did their bitterness fester. Their hate would have spilled over into internal strife, had they not stumbled upon a remarkable find in their travels-- a black, glossy rock sitting in the middle of the Webway, lined with labyrinthine tunnels. The asteroid had been drifting through the webway for ages, and by some strange fluke, now constantly drifted between the Webway and realspace, shifting between the two realms in a regular cycle.

Upon landing on the planetoid that they would eventually call the Shadowstone, Scyrex Deledras and their followers had found their new home.


That's where I end in my main background, because I find myself becoming indecisive over the following choices:

-The Revenant Shroud become a pirate fleet, using the Shadowstone as a base from which to launch raids into realspace and the webway above
-Same as above, but the Shadowstone eventually changes them, turning them into creatures no longer quite Dark Eldar-- dusky-skinned creatures with glowing eyes, with a need to feed not only on the pain of others, but on their very life force as well.

The only objection I have to doing the latter idea, however, is that it clashes with some of my existing paint schemes-- my armoured Kabalites can look the part quite well, but my Wyches all look fairly normal, as do my un-armoured characters. I am not certain if I want to repaint anything to fit into the whole "mutant Dark Eldar" idea.

Options aside, Scyrex's group (unsure if I should call them a Kabal, since they were exiled before Vect's big coup), though now a shadow of their former glory, have the overall goal of toppling all authority on Comorragh, of plunging the entire Dark City into anarchy as a spiteful revenge against the city that exiled them. Scyrex himself is pretty much supposed to be a strangely wise, all-knowing Dark Eldar (think of an evil version of Kosh from Babylon 5), whose injuries have left him confined to a life-preserving throne designed by allied Haemonculi, powered by the souls of anguished captives to keep the crippled Archon alive. (Yes, the allusion is deliberate. ) The fact that a cripple like Scyrex is still able to rule comes down, firstly, to a cadre of extremely loyal followers (I'm thinking maybe an Incubi bodyguard), and/or a strange ability on his part to predict/anticipate treachery. I'm still trying to work out, however, how Scyrex' group is maintaining relationships with Wyches, Haemonculi, and even Incubi.

That's pretty much all I have worked out so far. Any thoughts on my background? In particular:

-Is Revenant Shroud a good name? I think it would fit if I go for the whole "mutatated by the evil asteroid" angle, but otherwise I'm uncertain. Any other good name ideas you can think of? Also, should I drop the "Kabal" title?
-Any problems/inconsistencies you see with this background that I should try to iron out?

Like the background and the idea, and i don't think it needs tweaking much at all. If I had to pick areas where i think it could be improved however;
1. when I read it, it didn't come across clearly that Scyrex had been exiled before Vect took over. That fact in itself might explain why he has a cadre of loyal followers, I'm not suggesting that before Vect's rule the Dark Eldar were all nice and fluffy, but I don't think there's any doubt that the kabal structure encouraged backstabbing in their society.
2. seems odd that finding the shadowstone stopped their hate and bitterness from causing internal strife, perhaps alter it slightly so that chance conflicts were whittling down their numbers and the lack of a base of operations was exacerbating the matter, but upon finding the Shadowstone they were able to settle and plot the downfall of Commorragh from a place of security.
3. I'm struggling to resolve the idea that he's a powerful seer, but didn't seem to be able to avoid his rivals and ended up in a pitched battle. Maybe a gentle tweak that they caught him offguard by moving against him faster than seemed possible based on his scryings (perhaps involvement from an outside source assisting in this, you can then leave it open as to whether it's the craftworld eldar toppling him to avoid him becoming a threat in the future, or vect taking his first tentative steps on destroying the noble houses, picking on the one most likely to forsee what he's planning) and destroyed a large part of his forces before they could escape, wounding him in the process.
Feel free to use or ignore any of what I've said, after all it is your background, these were just my thoughts on reading it.

I really like the name Revenant Shroud (and your archon's name actually, hints of elvish about it but without sounding like a 'goodie'), you could perhaps call them Exiles of the Revenant Shroud if you like rather than a Kabal?
Hope to see more from you soon!

Very interesting idea. I would say use Kabal or Coven for the group. Keep Revenant Shroud - its a good name. As for what to do with this group of Dark Eldar, id say go into detail about say, how they have since transformed and built around the Shadowstone. I have this vision of a black semi mobile city in my head and i love it. That would be really cool and unique. Just some suggestion for ya, but great start!

Please be more aware of threadomancy. As interesting as this kabal idea may be, it is more than 6 months old and really should only be revived by the thread author. Gob.