Pimp My Raider

So the topic of conversation in another thread has given me an idea.

Dark Eldar are not some regimented military with everything being another STC construct. Unlike the orks they love luxury, and unlike the craftworlders they view warfare as an enjoyable pasttime rather than a harsh necessity.

This combination brings us to a place where it is logical for at the very least our HQs to pimp out their personal vehicles with all sorts of decadent luxuries, unique weapons, ect.

So, I propose that 1 transport vehicle per DE army gets the option of being an "Archon Special", pimped out with awesome stuff to show off how wealthy and awesome the owner is!

Some ideas:

Raider upgrade: Dancing girls. The front of this archon's raider is a stage that has defeated enemies and favored slaves dancing for the Archon's amusement and entertainment. The raider's transport capacity is reduced from 10 to 6, and all friendly models with the power from pain rule within 12" automatically pass leadership checks.

Raider upgrade: Archon's Throne. This vehicle is outfitted with a grand and comfortable elevated chair from which the Kabal's lord can overlook the battlefield in style. The throne itself includes an enhanced forcefield to supplement the raider's defenses, along with an advanced targeting system that allows the archon to ensure anything that offends him in his sight does not do so for long.
A raider with an archon's throne gets a +1 on all saving throws (both Armour and Invulnerable), and when an archon is on board he may sacrifice his own shooting to designate a target within 36 inches. All DE units with the same Kabal keyword as the Archon gain +1 to their shooting attacks against that target.


Any other pimping ideas? Perhaps for a Succubus on a venom or similar?

You could install an actual stereo system in your Raider. Blast them Raider beats.

Dark_Kindred wrote:

You could install an actual stereo system in your Raider. Blast them Raider beats.

Imagine if you actually had a raider variant with a torture hold and a bunch of speakers on it specifically to blast the screams of victims across the battlefield? No guns, just a massive morale boost for DE and penalty for everyone else.

You could have this miniature gladiator arena in the middle where captured enemy models have to fight wyches. Or it could have bird cages that house razorwings. I also liked the idea of a stereo system and you could use the center space as a stage for whatever artistic event is on display. The venom could have fuzzy dice in the cockpit but instead of fuzzy dice they are a pair of severed mon-keigh heads knocking into each other.

Why is this not a thing already!

ooh! Harpoon guns that snare enemy soldiers then tow them along behind the raider as it skims along the ground, killing them slowly!


Hell, a gravity ramp with pyrotechnics around it so that the Archon can dismount in style before walking over at a leisurely stroll and decapitating that space marine captain and eating his heart in front of his men.

I'll copy and paste my ideas over to here, but I think this would be awesome!

Specific upgrades for an HQ specific vehicle would be awesome, but the tax would be you need to take a Court (actually make them worth taking) to go with him.

Call the rule 'Archons Flagship'

Can select a Raider or Ravager and can select three of the following upgrades;

Macabre Expression: The Hull is adorned with the bones of countless victims, skulls tastefully mounted upon each jutted spike. "Aura of -1Ld to all enemies within 9"

The Court is Watching: A friendly unit of your choice within 3" of the vessel gains +1 attack.

Enhanced Aethersails: If this model advances it may double its movement characteristic for the turn. Do not roll for Distance.

Flickerfield: Using the latest technologies, this vehicles invulnerable save is increased to 4+

Wraithsteel Hull: Through the torture and torment of captured Bonesingers, this hull was made from the songs of their anguish. Increase the toughness of this model to T7

Some ideas to start, of course but I think this would make them much more interesting.

Lord Nakariial wrote:

I'll copy and paste my ideas over to here, but I think this would be awesome!

Specific upgrades for an HQ specific vehicle would be awesome, but the tax would be you need to take a Court (actually make them worth taking) to go with him.

Call the rule 'Archons Flagship'

Can select a Raider or Ravager and can select three of the following upgrades;

Macabre Expression: The Hull is adorned with the bones of countless victims, skulls tastefully mounted upon each jutted spike. "Aura of -1Ld to all enemies within 9"

The Court is Watching: A friendly unit of your choice within 3"  of the vessel gains +1 attack.

Enhanced Aethersails: If this model advances it may double its movement characteristic for the turn. Do not roll for Distance.

Flickerfield: Using the latest technologies, this vehicles invulnerable save is increased to 4+

Wraithsteel Hull: Through the torture and torment of captured Bonesingers, this hull was made from the songs of their anguish. Increase the toughness of this model to T7

Some ideas to start, of course but I think this would make them much more interesting.

I could totally see a converted Ravager with just enough transport capacity for the Archon and his homies. Also, I love all those ideas.

Coven Throne:
This Raider is what might loosely be described as a dark eldar medivac, though such a description is misleading. It is nothing more nor less than a flying lab for the Haemonculus who owns it, allowing to perform experiments on the freshest of specimens. This Raider variant has a transport capacity of 6, as much of the room is taken up by lab equipment. It can only transport Coven units.
Aura of Agony:
The more test subjects are 'acquired' on the battlefield, the louder and more invigorating the screams emanating from this floating torture chamber become. Every time a unit is completely destroyed within 24" of this unit, choose an effect from the list below.

1) Re-invigoration: Choose one unit within 12" of the Coven Throne, or a unit embarked upon said vehicle. That unit regains d3 wounds, or up to 1 model slain earlier in the battle returns to play with up to d3 wounds, though this cannot exceed its wounds characteristic. Vehicles cannot be targeted

2) Specialized toxins: Choose one unit within 12" of the Coven Throne. Until the end of the game, any of that unit's weapons that would normally wound on 4+ against non-vehicles (EG Splinter Rifles) now wound on 2+ against such targets, due to the perfectly tailored toxins developed from the new volunteers.

3) Agonized wail: All non-DE units within 12" reduce their leadership by d3 for the remainder of the current turn and must make a morale check in the morale phase regardless of whether they took casualties this turn or not. Dark Eldar Units within 12" automatically pass any Morale checks they are called to make this phase.

4) Augment: Choose one non-vehicle unit within 12" and roll a dice. on a 1-3 the unit takes a mortal wound and gains the effects of a random combat drug for the remainder of the game. on a 4-5 the unit gains the effects of a random combat drug for the remainder of the game. on a 6, the unit gains the benefits of a combat drug chosen by the player that lasts for the remainder of the game.

I know this was supposed to be serious topic, but I can't help myself imagining an Archon going to a reality show (because why wouldn't Commorragh have that too?) where he meets a mad mechanic/Haemonculus that pimps his Raider up to 11.

In the end, the Raider was made extra-long to make it appear like a limousine. However, the extra space was used to make a stereo system that makes even Noise Marines blush and huge displays were installed everywhere to observe the whole raid at once.
Inside, the Raider only has the finest leather (mon-keigh hide), everywhere. The seats, the sides and even the floor are now covered in leather. Sometimes you can even spot the occasional face worked into the leather.

Underneath, it now features balelight (neon pipes) and at the back you can spot a huge spoiler. Also, the Raider now has doors on the sides, swing doors. It's colour scheme was changed from the Kabal's colours to the motive of blazing flames.

Needless to say, this wasn't what the Archon had in mind and some Voidraven bombers shortly "visited" the workshop when he found out what they did to his command craft.

Edit: Note I could imagine that some eccentric/mad Archons actually go on a Raid with such a craft. I mean, why wouldn't they?

The Strange Dark One wrote:

I know this was supposed to be serious topic, but I can't help myself imagining an Archon going to a reality show (because why wouldn't Commorragh have that too?) where he meets a mad mechanic/Haemonculus that pimps his Raider up to 11.

In the end, the Raider was made extra-long to make it appear like a limousine. However, the extra space was used to make a stereo system that makes even Noise Marines blush and huge displays were installed everywhere to observe the whole raid at once.
Inside, the Raider only has the finest leather (mon-keigh hide), everywhere. The seats, the sides and even the floor are now covered in leather. Sometimes you can even spot the occasional face worked into the leather.

Underneath, it now features balelight (neon pipes) and at the back you can spot a huge spoiler. Also, the Raider now has doors on the sides, swing doors. It's colour scheme was changed from the Kabal's colours to the motive of blazing flames.

Needless to say, this wasn't what the Archon had in mind and some Voidraven bombers shortly "visited" the workshop when he found out what they did to his command craft.

Edit: Note I could imagine that some eccentric/mad Archons actually go on a Raid with such a craft. I mean, why wouldn't they?

YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!

Does it come with dancing girls, stripper poles and enough cocaine to poison a squad of emperor's children? It damn well better!

FuelDrop wrote:

The Strange Dark One wrote:

I know this was supposed to be serious topic, but I can't help myself imagining an Archon going to a reality show (because why wouldn't Commorragh have that too?) where he meets a mad mechanic/Haemonculus that pimps his Raider up to 11.

In the end, the Raider was made extra-long to make it appear like a limousine. However, the extra space was used to make a stereo system that makes even Noise Marines blush and huge displays were installed everywhere to observe the whole raid at once.
Inside, the Raider only has the finest leather (mon-keigh hide), everywhere. The seats, the sides and even the floor are now covered in leather. Sometimes you can even spot the occasional face worked into the leather.

Underneath, it now features balelight (neon pipes) and at the back you can spot a huge spoiler. Also, the Raider now has doors on the sides, swing doors. It's colour scheme was changed from the Kabal's colours to the motive of blazing flames.

Needless to say, this wasn't what the Archon had in mind and some Voidraven bombers shortly "visited" the workshop when he found out what they did to his command craft.

Edit: Note I could imagine that some eccentric/mad Archons actually go on a Raid with such a craft. I mean, why wouldn't they?

YES A THOUSAND TIMES YES SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY!!!

Does it come with dancing girls, stripper poles and enough cocaine to poison a squad of emperor's children? It damn well better!

I am sorry, I couldn't resist xD

Balelight Runners- The Raider gains no benefit from cover or Night Fighting, but all Aeldari units within 12" may reroll failed morale checks.

Liftkick Repulsor system- The Raider can boost in the air with a surprisingly quick jerking motion. It gets a +1 to its invulnerable save against ranged attacks.

Mural Sails- The sails have been decorated with a super dope mural. (Probably airbrushed by the archon's cousin, and featuring some combination of unicorns, women in bikinis, and things being lit on fire.) It draws special attention to the Raider and all the totally metal things it does on the battlefield. Each turn the Raider inflicts a casualty, the army gains +1 CP.

"Dude! The Archons Daughters are Watching!" - If you have a unit of Trueborn within 6" of the Archon's Flagship you can sacrifice one of your own models to give the unit +1WS, +1M and +1S until the next movement phase.

Ganja Smoke - Any enemy unit in combat with the Archons Flagship must roll 2D6 at the start of each combat phase.

1-3: The enemies eyes sting from the pouring smoke, -1 WS
4-6: The attacking squad starts to relax and reflect on their life choices -1 S
7-11: Senses dulled and greening out, they believe that they are surrounded by angry space pixies
The enemy gains a WS of 1 for the rest of the round and cannot reroll hits and wounds.
12: The unit heres the sweet tunes of Marley echoing from above, ropes lower and the squad happily climbs up into the enemies barge, they party, drink and have the biggest bender of their lives..."Was that Doomrider?"
They wake up the next morning in the cell of a Haemonculus...totally worth it!