The Kabal of the Blood Storm

Archon Xedrik, an Archon who simply killed his way up the kabal latter, a young archon with dark intentions. His goal is to join Vect's inner-circle.

He was a young Trueborn eldar child when Vect overthrew the Noble houses, and was inspired, and decided he would follow in his footsteps. At first though, you Xedrik was not nearly as cunning or devious as the great Vect, failing numerous times to rise up through what appeared common means, gathering a group of warriors, and trying raiding for himself, leading troupes on realspace raids, and quite often coming back empty handed.

He quickly realized, he did not know much of anything, and was not that adept in combat. He decided to join another Kabal as a warrior, and begin there, watching the Archon closely, and paying attention to what worked, and what didn't. He spent years as a warrior in the Kabal of the Dark Sword, until finally he felt he needed to take his first step. In the heat of battle, he took a quick aimed shot at the Archon, killing The archon in the middle of a heated battle with a space wolf sergeant. Upon the death of the Archon the Kabal fell apart, much to his chagrin, for he had wanted to take over the Kabal for himself. But he was not disheartened.

He quickly joined another Kabal, this time as a Sybarite thanks to his past exploits, all along not able to join an Elite Trueborn retinue, due to his heritage being unknown. He joined a Kabal that had more power than the last one, the Kabal of the Black Sun, and after awhile, he killed this Archon, and decided to move onto another Kabal. No one knew he was the one killing, and after a while his name became popular amongst Archons, being seen as a curse to any Kabal he joined.

After sometime a Haemonculi Coven stepped forward and revealed that he was a Trueborn. This, along with his being labelled as "cursed" caused him to be sought after by many Archons, wanting to show that they were strong enough to not fall to his curse. He passed through many more Kabals, and faught many battles, all the while gaining knowledge from every Archon he killed on the art of battle, absorbing their knowledge into a medallion around his neck. Finally, he was ready.

He joined the Kabal of the Blood Storm, and, in front of the entire army, challenged the Archon to a duel. He picked up a venom blade, and slew the Archon in one fell swoop, and, brandishing his Huskblade above his head, announced himself the new Archon in charge.

Most of the army cheered him, while a few rebeled, the Archons personal court of SSlyth attacked him, but he dispatched them without so much as a wink.

That is how Archon Xedrik came atop the Kabal of the Blood Storm, and His personal conquests, are only just beginning, as he works his way to Vect's inner-circle.

First of all, good first draft. There are many grammatical errors that need to be corrected. Secondly some of the background doesn't fit. Dark Eldar are not stupid. They're a highly cautious, paranoid race. Especially when it comes to each other. Someone would have figured out the would be assassin. There are few secrets in the Dark City. There's no way an Archon would agree to a duel. They are not bound by honor. The upstart would mostly likely be tortured before being killed for assuming the arrogance of challenging someone of a higher social station. Being a "curse" in the Dark City isn't a good thing. Pariahs would shunned if not out right hunted. The Kabals work very much in a mafia like mentality.