Trying to make a Dark Eldar character...

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Been trying to make a female Dark Eldar character. I drew a crappy computer drawing of her on Paint, and now I'm trying to get more of her history and background decided as well as her occupation. I found her name from a Dark Elf generator, I just changed it a little. It's Zehra. I thought about making her a daughter of Asdrubael Vect and one of his concubines, but I was told that might veer into Mary Sue territory, something I'm not really keen on. I'd appreciate any help in making her.
This was in Backgrounds Forum originally then I changed it to here.
EDIT : Did a Mary Sue Test on what I've thought out so far for my character, and she's not Sue, woot!!!

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Mon Jul 04 2011, 02:07

Considering, it is quite possible for Vect to have her as a daughter, but to keep it from straying to mary sue, you may want to use this as more of a curse then a blessing. Consider this: just about -every- Archon (specially lady Malys) wants Vect ousted. Zehra might have to be even more on guard to avoid assassination due to this, even though chances are Vect probabably doesn't care too much about his children.

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Sedarofe wrote:: Considering, it is quite possible for Vect to have her as a daughter, but to keep it from straying to mary sue, you may want to use this as more of a curse then a blessing. Consider this: just about -every- Archon (specially lady Malys) wants Vect ousted. Zehra might have to be even more on guard to avoid assassination due to this, even though chances are Vect probabably doesn't care too much about his children.

I never was going to have it as a blessing sort of thing to Zehra, considering the fact my plan was Vect doesn't even know she exists, as her mother was a concubine of his who left when she heard he was getting to change, and kept the pregnancy hidden and managed to survive the duration until Zehra was born. I'm also thinking of only a Haemonculus and the mother knowing, (the Haemonculus raising the girl after the mother dies but not sure about this.)
I was also thinking of making her a Wych or Succubus, and having her sort of mirror Vect's rise from a lowly position to one of power...
I was told though not to go the Succubus route either as it was overdone...

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Mon Jul 04 2011, 03:40

The Succubus route seems to remind me of Leilith Hexperax (pardon misspelling). As for the "raised by Homunculus" it seems like an interesting take, considering it wouldn't exactly be a happy childhood.

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Sedarofe wrote:: The Succubus route seems to remind me of Leilith Hexperax (pardon misspelling). As for the "raised by Homunculus" it seems like an interesting take, considering it wouldn't exactly be a happy childhood.

I don't know if any Dark Eldar children have happy childhoods. But she does learn a lot of various things from the Haemonculus which come in handy later in her life.

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Mon Jul 04 2011, 03:45

That is true enough...but, I meant relatively speaking for a Dro- I mean Dark Eldar

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

I saw that slip there. Wink

I'm a fangirl for VEct, and have a bit of obsession for him.

In Exile Posts : 1065 Join date : 2011-05-14

I'm putting this in the Stories sub-forum. This doesn't belong in the Kabals of the Dark City.

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Mon Jul 04 2011, 21:32

This kinda reminds me... Bioshock plot line.
"Test tube child" (ok, Trueborn in this case) raised by "scientist" (Haemi), having "big wig" father that don't know about it...

It's good concept, ESPECIALLY in Dark Eldar society. I wonder if going with

(major spoiler of BS plotline ahead! Don't read or even unfold if You WANT play it first time!)

Spoiler:

route would be good option.

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Local_Ork wrote:

This kinda reminds me... Bioshock plot line.
"Test tube child" (ok, Trueborn in this case) raised by "scientist" (Haemi), having "big wig" father that don't know about it...

It's good concept, ESPECIALLY in Dark Eldar society. I wonder if going with

(major spoiler of BS plotline ahead! Don't read or even unfold if You WANT play it first time!)

Spoiler:

route would be good option.

It's alright, I've sen both Bioshock 1 and 2. And glad you like the idea!!! Don't think I'll do that one route though, due to the fact it would be too much like Bioshock then.
And my character knows who her father is, but she keeps it a well guarded secret until the right moment.

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Xelkireth wrote:: I'm putting this in the Stories sub-forum. This doesn't belong in the Kabals of the Dark City.

I actually posted it in the Discussion area first and then when I came back it somehow went to Kabals...

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Tue Jul 05 2011, 05:14

Alright. So starting from basics, how does she feel about beeing Vect kid? Does she want to do "generic Dark Eldar thing" or she actually wnt him live because she love/want to torture for eternity him?

Also, do you plan some sort of "inherit" Haemonculus trait/ability? Like... I don't know, allowing her unit to negate FNP? Or beeing able to pick one Combat Drug result without roll?

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

I'm not sure, I'm not very good at the rules with Dark Eldar, but I do want her to get something from her years of being raised by a Haemonculi. and she resents Vect but realizes he's all that holds the race together so she isn't out to kill him. She is looking for recognition from him though, and intends to join the Kabal of the Black Heart, which I intend on having her do.

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Wed Jul 06 2011, 05:05

Zehra wrote:: I'm not sure, I'm not very good at the rules with Dark Eldar, but I do want her to get something from her years of being raised by a Haemonculi. and she resents Vect but realizes he's all that holds the race together so she isn't out to kill him. She is looking for recognition from him though, and intends to join the Kabal of the Black Heart, which I intend on having her do.

Quick question: what does the Haemonculus get out of this? Does he want the patronage of the Kabal of the Black Heart? Did he owe the Courtesan something? Was he a little bored with surgery?

Given that the Haemonculus has been the father that Vect wasn't for Zehra, developing him more will develop her more by definition. He has shaped her personality from childhood; there should be more than a little of him about her. That would also set up an interesting contrast between Vect and the Haemonculus. A struggle for Zehra to decide which father's way of life she wants to embrace or if she seeks a new path, perhaps?

I like the ideas you've outlined so far. The final story should be interesting.

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Spanna uv Komor-AAAGH! wrote:

Zehra wrote:: I'm not sure, I'm not very good at the rules with Dark Eldar, but I do want her to get something from her years of being raised by a Haemonculi. and she resents Vect but realizes he's all that holds the race together so she isn't out to kill him. She is looking for recognition from him though, and intends to join the Kabal of the Black Heart, which I intend on having her do.

Quick question: what does the Haemonculus get out of this? Does he want the patronage of the Kabal of the Black Heart? Did he owe the Courtesan something? Was he a little bored with surgery?

Given that the Haemonculus has been the father that Vect wasn't for Zehra, developing him more will develop her more by definition. He has shaped her personality from childhood; there should be more than a little of him about her. That would also set up an interesting contrast between Vect and the Haemonculus. A struggle for Zehra to decide which father's way of life she wants to embrace or if she seeks a new path, perhaps?

I like the ideas you've outlined so far. The final story should be interesting.

The Haemonculus actually would like the patronage of the Black Heart, but I'm also thinking of him having a thing for the mother of Zehra, (albeit a twisted sort of attraction). And since Zehra is the mother's child, he'd always be able to keep the mother with him. And Zehra intends to learn lessons from both father's but make her own path with what she's learned.
And thanks, I'm glad you like it, I'm trying really hard not to make her overpowered.
and I really need to think of names for the Haemonculus and the mother. Also I was having an odd idea scene as to how Zehra gets into the Black Heart. She tells Vect she'd be a great choice and tells him she'll prove it by fighting a group of Dark Eldar...naked...
She does, and wins...

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Wed Jul 06 2011, 06:35

Zehra wrote:: naked

Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Roshi_BleedingNose

Dude... I mean woman, damn!

Ok, I'm talking about rules right now. You definetely want her "Kabalite" rather than "Haemunculus" profile. I think... something like Duke statline, but with I8 and LD 10? Base cost... I don't know 60 points with Pistol, CCW and Ghostplate?

As for names... random generator time Smile

Amroth Fanor sounds... kinda like Urien Rakarth.
Luthien Inglorion is IMHO perfect. First name is kinda... sad but also beautiful, last like barbed wire/German. PRACHTVOLL!

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Ok thanks, and lol sorry about the nosebleed but it just came to my mind in the middle of the night so I still want to lean her towards a Succbus/Wych kinda occupation as well.
But I will take any help I can get.
Another unusual thing about her is that she doesn't really tattoo herself or color her hair like other Dark Eldar do, she has long natural jet black hair and she's immensely proud of it.

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Thu Jul 07 2011, 05:03

Local_Ork wrote:

Zehra wrote:: naked

Damn it, Local_Ork, now Zehra will always look like Vidal to me!
Actually...
Twisted Evil

You know, for some reason it had never occurred to me that the Dark Eldar would dye their hair. Too much anime recently, I guess.

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Thu Jul 07 2011, 05:29

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/AlmightyMom
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/YouGottaHaveBlueHair

Indeed.
and
Indeed.

btw. I can do this all day long Razz

This is still not so much data. We totally need to give Lady Zehra more time.

Hmm... I recently draw "a little" (a lot), may try as practice make "how I see Zehra"... outside combat...

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

If you do draw my char Zehra, I'll e-mail you my crappy Paint drawing for reference so you have an idea of what she looks like.

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

I was thinking, but let me know if ths is too cliched, of the Haemonculus removing the embryo from her mother as she's dying maybe, like Vect sent assassins after her because he found out she was pregnant and the Haemonculus finds her still barely alive and removes the baby from her and grows it in an artificial womb. Does that sound interesting or plausible?

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Thu Jul 07 2011, 22:53

I would be kinda angry on my pops after knowing that. And it definetely goes along Bioshock plotline...

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Yeah, but I was wondering if that was bad...

Subject: Re: Trying to make a Dark Eldar character... Thu Jul 07 2011, 23:03

Bad? Not at all. You know, if you are interested, try to... khem... "find" e-book titled "Save the cat!". I'm digging thru it and it seems... good.

In Exile Posts : 218 Join date : 2011-07-02

Hehehe, ok. Sounds cool.

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