Dark Olympiad - Lightweight Round Battles

Put me down for Tyranid Prime and Archon

Battle report should go up Sunday.

Haem and Coteaz.

soulthirster8 wrote:

Haem and Coteaz.

Your a bit late on that one there mate, just by a bit though...

Greetings gentle beings!

It is I, Por'el Sa'cea Leo'lan Jhin, and here we sit with the last of the preliminary bouts of the contest.



I am also here, trying to make it even remotely worth sitting through this boring Tau's dreck.



I am here...trying to...remote...BLOOD!

That's just kind of pathetic, have you really used up all your banter already?

Mostly I get by on my looks.

*cough* on that note, maybe we should move onto the fights?

Yes.

Was it something I said?


=================================================================================


The Chaos Lord is revving up his chainsword while screaming about skulls, thrones, and other Kharn-type things.

You think?

Kharn-type things should be used more in 40k, I approve of blood and skulls.

Add in 'dark' and 'big armor, tiny heads' and you've actually succinctly described GW's design team's whole mission portfolio.

Yeah, this game rules.

Here comes the Tyranid Prime, it is indicating what it wants to do with the Chaos Lord's biomass...

Put it on the biomass throne?

Initiative

[Both roll a 5 for each to have a 10 in initiative!]

Each of them is rushing forward, ready for battle.

I want a double knockout!

But then who would advance to the next round?

The Succubus would be brought back, because she is the hottest.

Is that how the system works?

I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

I'm pretty sure the fact that everyone is here in a pocket realm of Commoragh while we're hosting this event, that maybe the thousands of troops at my command mean that if I decide everyone should fight from here on out in thongs with wiffle bats, then that's what is going to happen.

I agree.

Kharn!

See, even he understands.

Yeah, wyches basically fight in thongs with wiffle bats.

...when all of you are going into the rendering pits, you're going in first.

Kharn always goes in first, it's what I do.

Long Range

Still they rush in...actually,does anyone find it odd how long some of these initial charges last while we sit here and chat?

No.

Just checking.

Short Range

Here it comes, the fearsome Devourer is being fired!

[T.Prime fires his Devourer, 3 shots needing 3+ to hit = 6, 2, 5
2 hits need 4+ to wound = 3, 3]

NOOOOOOOOOOOO! The shooting has failed!?!

Hur, hur, hur.

And here comes the cool part, the assault!

This is *so* uncivilized.

Assault!

With a furious charge, the Tyranid Prime rushes forward and-

Hits first!

Nope, now he just hits at initiative order...which is tied.

You sure? That kind of really hurts Orks and Chaos.

It really affects Dark Eldar too...now...um...we strike about the same time as...oh, tip of my tongue...

Other army's HQ Close Combat specialists?

Yeah, those things! Except for our HQs, natch.

Natch.

Kharn is displeased, a furious charge should add to speed as well as strength, otherwise you're just doing it wrong. Wait till my battle and I'll show you how its done, 6th edition be damned.

[both T.Prime and the Chaos Lord strike simultaneously.

Chaos Lord has 6 attacks needing 4+ to hit = 2, 4, 3, 4, 5, 6
4 hits needing 5+ to wound = 3, 6, 6, 1
2 wounds for which T.Prime has a 3+ save = 3, 2

T.Prime take 1 wound

T.Prime swings, 5 attacks needing 4+ = 1, 4, 4, 2, 2
2 hits needing 2+ to wound = 5, 5
2 wounds needing 5+ to save = 6, 6.]

Holy crapsticks on a plate!

That's what I'm taling about, you run up the blade of his sword and start punching him in the face screaming BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD! at the top of your lungs!

You 'say' that?

...It's a paraphrase.

Dear lord, and the Tyranid is bleeding and looking rather confused and it doesn't look like the Chaos Lord is done yet...

Assault Round 2

I called this, I predicted domination through veneration of Khorne!

You predicted the Tyranid would win.

Don't try to confuse me with your facts.

[Second round of combat:

The T.Prime swings, 4 attacks needing 4+ = 5, 4, 6, 2
3 hits will need 3+ to wound = 5, 4, 1
2 wounds can be saved on a 5+ = 2, 6

A 3d6 Leadership roll to avoid instant death = 3, 4, 3 = 10

Chaos Lord has 5 attacks, needing 4+ = 5, 4, 5, 1, 4
4 hits needing 5+ = 5, 4, 5, 1
2 Wounds, T.Prime saves on 3+ = 2....1!]

...

...

...

...and now the Chaos Lord is...crouching repeatedly?

It's called 'teabagging' Leo.

...BLOOD FOR THE RUDDY BLOOD GOD, SKULLS FOR THE HOLY TOLEDO SKULL THRONE, WAAAAAAAAGH!!!

The Tyranid must have just been flat out molesting the Dice Gawd's Daughter all night and up into the morning.

Chaos, bay-bee, CHAOS POWAH!!!

Kharn, don't...and now Kharn has jumped down into the arena and is also "teabagging" the Tyranid.

Face stomp by the bug my perfectly sculpted butt. This was a crazy upset.

It will drastically affect the rankings, that's for sure.

Of course...it probably gives the Archon an easy win next round once he crushes the namby-prissy Autarch...huzzah Chaos!

Okay, well, let's clean that up and get on to the next match.

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Archon, Archon, he's our man, if he can't do it then we will smelt him down in a pain factory and turn him into a set of sentient flesh underwear for a Grotesque.

That does not rhyme at all.

It uses Eldar pentameter.

That is a rather high-brow joke for this event, and I'm not sure I believe you anyway.

I return!

Yay?

Oh man, BEST DAY SINCE FOREVAH! Besides, y'know, that day I killed a lot of stuff...

Yesterday?

That's the one!

Here comes the Archon and the Autarch, both of them are...apparently doing some sort of tea ceremony prior to the battle.

A cultured and appropriate response.

Also, when the Autarch bent over to pour tea the Archon totally checked out her rack...

Also appropriate.

And cultured?

You can culture milk.

...

...yeah, that kinda freaked me out too.

*ahem* looks like they're ready to start fighting now.

Initiative

[Archon rolls a 6 for an initiative of wtflolomg and the Autarch rolls a 3, so the Archon will go first.]

Long Range

The Archon makes some lewd remarks, and the Autarch puts on her Banshee mask and starts rushing forward, already raising her Death Spinner and looking forward to shredding the Archon apart.

Short Range

And here it comes, the shooting round that will probably settle it all!

Monofilimant death wire versus focused beams of dark matter - meh, boring.

[The Archon fires first, BS 7 needs a 2+ to hit with a re-roll = 3, hit!
The Blast Pistol needs a 2+ to wound = 4
The Autarch needs a 4+ to save with her shimmer shield = 2!]

Shooting wins again!

Up until the point she was blasted to oblivion I totally believed that she could move a small shield on her forearm to block a shot that, by definition, moves at the speed of light.

...

Yeah, I didn't buy it either.

Go Archon! Continued DE dominance in all things my friends, continued DE dominance.

I was going to make fun of you, but a 3-1 record thus far really isn't shabby.

I agree.

We're easily some of the most dominant ICs at lower point levels, we inflict a lot of damage and almost alwaays can cause ID checks of some sort or other. Plus, our statline is awesome.

Think that will hold up much in later weight classes?

Well, I'll easily win the one I'm in, but after that, yeah, it probably gets a touch sad.

So, our winners are; the Chaos Lord (in an amazingly lucky showing) and the Archon (in a battle that people will say was obvious or also amazingly lucky, I suspect)

I am a *little* sad to see the Autarch go down like a chump, maybe if we manage a double knockout we'll bring her back?

I always approve of more boobies on the field...except for Slaanesh.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the current Slaanesh concept of halving the amount of boobies is a primary reason to hate them?

We're supposed to have reasons to hate Slaanesh?

And that's the battle folks, see you next time!

Go Archon! I knew you could do it! The others may have doubted you, but I didn't! Fighting!

HAHAHA! I knew it! I knew Khorne would favour his Lord! Facing a foul xeno monster that kills with each of his strikes with nothing more than a bolt pistol, chainsword and Khorne's mighty rage! Let that be a lesson, folks! Always bet on Khorne, for no matter who dies, Khorne wins.

And, if that wasn't expected, the Archon wins without breaking a sweat. Two out of one, great round!

I wasn't shocked by the Archon, who really did have a decent chance at a win (less than the Autarch, but the numbers were not painfully out of place.

The T.Prime going down in the first was highly unexpected though, he was one of my favorites to potentially win the whole thing with his stat line and options and then...and not only that, but to one of the less impressive opponents too...blew my mind.

Yeah, the Archon vs Autarch predictably came down to who wins initiative. Had the Autarch won. she'd have torn the Archon to shreds with monowire. The Chaos Lord vs Tyranid was really unexpected tho. That was the most one sided fight since the Captain vs Warboss one, and the Lord somehow wins despite being outclassed in all regards. Clearly he had the favour of Khorne.

Say Thor, will you be incorporating the Chaos Gods boon table for the Lord now that the new CSM codex is out?

For me to put up a big goose egg this time??? wow... Thor... I think you need better dice, either that or someone cursed them so I wouldnt win anything

As a World Eaters player as well, I don't care that I guessed the first fight wrong. Seeing one of Khorne's chosen reap a new skull for His throne is always a warming sight. Blood for the Blood God!

So with the light weights done, how do we procede? I take it there will be a new topic 'Dark Olympiad-midweight Round Battles', will these also contain two battles each? Will new characters come in to this or will we keep the same characters because they are fixed to a point limit e.g Cortez while others can get every upgrade avalable to them making it a bit unfair.

+ i carnt wait till the haem makes a statue of cortez, or more likily an ancient turns him to dust with a huskblade

Damn you, Tyranid. How could you fail me?

Another great post, as usual, Thor. I look forward to the next round.

WORMS FOR THE BIRD GOD, TWIGS FOR THE GREAT NEST!

...

Srsly, tyranid, you makes me sad all over...

The second fight was just too hard to predict, it really was anybodies match... up to the point the autarch got vaporized...

Your killing me Thor! The anticipation of the semi finals are getting to me, now i carn't go on the Dark City with out thinking is Cortez turning to glass today? If your timetable is full i'd be up to help if you want, i can roll dice as well as the next guy or maybe come up with a few jokes. You have the whole of TDC on your side, well until the Archon and Haem lose....

I'm actually just trying to get a little ahead in the writing so I can finish off the postings in a more functionally timely manner.

It all went worse then expected...I understand now why Horus sided with the chaos gods <.<
And trusting those boring and selfrestraining space elfs isn't much of a good choice either...

Tzeentch, show me the way?

I've always preferred Craftworlders. They were my first army.

That being said my 'national pride' took a bit of a hit back there.
IN THE FACE!

You have to finish this! Read it for the first time today and it prompted me to register and post this!

Okay, New Year's promise is to finish up the Lightweights.
I may be looking for a volunteer to keep track of the correct/incorrect votes of the participants though - I have realized I find that to be dreadfully tedious to do.

Sorry im late. For the record im up too help. \if your still up for it.

Please watch the phone(?) speak. Thx, Gob.