Dark Olympiad - Lightweight Round Battles

Current vote spread;

Archon Farath Mure - Succubus and Haem
Aroshamash - Coteaz and Haem
Barking Agatha - Succubus and ?
Cavash - Coteaz and Haem
Enfernux - Succubus and Haem
KnightSeerValkia - Succubus and Haem
Mushkilla 0 Succubus and Haem
NiteOwl- Succubus and Haem
Nomic - Succubus and Haem
Ruke - Succubus and Haem
Shadows Revenge - Succubus and Haem
Siticus the Ancient - Succubus and Haem
The_Burning_Eye - Succubus and Haem
Tiri Rana - Succubus and Haem

Let me know if you spot any errors.
Looks like a lot of support for the DE stuff (big shocker)

If everything goes as planned the battles should go up Saturday and the new pregames should go up Sunday - there might be 24 hours worth of margin of error in those predictions though.

Thor665 wrote:

Aroshamash - Coteaz and Haem
Cavash - Coteaz and Haem

HERETICS!!!

Did I not vote properly, you missed my vote.

Slapped you in there now - I must have missed it first time through.

Gees i need to read the forum more often. Predictably Succubus will own, she is so overpowered. Then haemunculi should be good to, though I'm not sure what Carapace Armour is....But he should win. Interesting to see what happens.

Haemonculi will definitely win that fight. Even if he doesn't kill him with the hex rifle (which I think he will), he's got the upper hand in combat too.

I also think the Succubus will win, probably with the pistol. Won't be as easy a fight as the haemi's though.

Thor665 wrote:

Current vote spread;

Archon Farath Mure - Succubus and Haem
Aroshamash - Coteaz and Haem
Barking Agatha - Succubus and ?
Cavash - Coteaz and Haem
Enfernux - Succubus and Haem
KnightSeerValkia - Succubus and Haem
Mushkilla 0 Succubus and Haem
NiteOwl- Succubus and Haem
Nomic - Succubus and Haem
Ruke - Succubus and Haem
Shadows Revenge - Succubus and Haem
Siticus the Ancient - Succubus and Haem
The_Burning_Eye - Succubus and Haem
Tiri Rana - Succubus and Haem

Let me know if you spot any errors.
Looks like a lot of support for the DE stuff (big shocker)

If everything goes as planned the battles should go up Saturday and the new pregames should go up Sunday - there might be 24 hours worth of margin of error in those predictions though.

Haemonculus, sorry. Thought it went without saying : )

I'm voting for the Succubus and the haemonculus. The haemy will make the commisar shoot himself for failing his leadership test.

Im gonna have to go with the Inquisitor, she IS a CC character, and she is outclassed in CC, and i dont think 1 piece of wargear will save her .

Haemon has it, no other way about it, the LC will just be pieces of shattered face by the time hes done. Wall of death with shattershard is just brutal to single characters, just ask Crowe .

So Corteaz and theHaemonculus, but if the haemon wins he should get to be an ancient, and if the Sucubus wins woe be her fated to be glass

((Brilliant idea, all this by the way!!!!))

As for voting, the Haemonculus has enough toys and pieces of phantasmagorica to make one or other type of puddle out of the Commissar. So he gets my vote. If the good doctor 'fluffs it' somehow then be sure to send him remains to our flesh vats and we'll be sure to have him improved and in a more successful working order in no time.

When it comes to our athletic olympian herself I must admit to having little to no knowledge of her challenger. Thus all this is fairly speculative. However, the Blast Pistol makes a mess of armour and one can trust to that - though one can assume that any named Character will have at least some form of Invulnerable ((I'm trying not to show prejudice by putting 'power-armoured' before the Character above)) but speed can keep her out of his reach. If it gets to a slap-fest she's just going to have to hope, because as we saw with the Masque, weight of attacks isn't going to be enough if they need less successful hits to kill you - and I do believe the mon'keigh of choice gets to Instant death the lady. I'm going to vote for the Succubus in any case because if she doesn't happen to win you can always send his her remains to our flesh vats and we'll be sure to have him her 'improved' and in a more successful working order in no time. In fact I've got the additional spine and corset all picked out.....


((Bold seemed semi-invisible so Underlining was added.))

Greetings gentle beings!

It is I, Por'el Sa'cea Leo'lan Jhin, and we are ready to witness the glory, and grandeur, and gravitas, and...



Gore?

No! No, no, no, no gore. Perhaps a bit, but I assure our gentle viewers that the devestation of last round-



Was totally unacceptable and we're cranking it up this round!

No, wait-

Indeed, we really need to charge the pain receptors properly, otherwise everyone will be unable to live their lives as abject slaves ground under my stiletto heels.

You're barefoot.

Aw, whatever your fetish is, I'm adaptable...and flexible.

Kharn's fetish is skulls...FOR THE SKULL THRONE!!!...also bunnies.

Do you know what a fetish is? Because the bunnies part might be the creepier one.

...they have floppy ears.

Guys, um, the fights?

Don't get your panties in a bunch, Leo, I once killed a Chapter Master while high as a kite, I'm pretty sure I can manage a bit of back and forth mocking of Kharn in addition to calling some fights that promise to be DE squash matches.

Well, you should get ready then, because our first competitiors are taking the floor!

=================================================================================


Both opponents are ready now on the battlefield, the Succubus is, as expected, getting a lot of the home town crowd excited as she...she...now that can't be appropriate to snort that much cocaine before a fight.

Don't judge our ancient battle arts, for they are deep with mystery...and sex

Would you look at that, laughing maniacally the Succubus is running in circles and is now sprinting towards the Inquisitor, who looks perplexed by his opponent's antics.

Cocaine is a hell of a drug!

[Succubus rolls a 4 for Init and MoF rolls a 5, with adding in their initiatives we get a 12 and an 9 - Succubus will go first
She rolls for combat drugs - 3, she will have +1 strength for this battle.]

Turn 1 - Long Range

Neither of the combatants thought to bring much long range wargear.

The proper term is Pansy Projectiles.

You know, considering the fact we have laser rifles and whatnot, isn't it kind of silly that so much warfare is settled by knives and clubs?

I don't get your point, my race is the most technologically advanced in the galaxy and we still use spikes and chains as a primary weapon.

We serve literal gods. Our top weapon is a chainsaw...on a stick!!

I weep for the future sometimes.

Turn 2 - Short Range

Closing the gap now, this is what people were waiting for, it's time to see if the Blast Pistol or some Krak Grenades just end this match before it ever gets anywhere!

Tau fights...

The Succubus is calling out her shot, something about aiming for his "cheesy bits"

Should be a large target...

Kharn sees what you did there!

[4 to hit, 6 to wound...Coteaz dives for cover...6, no wound!]

Coteaz is probably patting himself on the back for diving behind that small outcropping of rocks, and look here, he's prepping a grenade and hurling it overhand in the Succubus' direction.

If you don't evade this it's back to sparring grots as a curtain jerker!

The grenade is dead accurate on target, COteaz is looking mighty pleased, and...oh no! THE HUMANITY!

We refer to that as a spinning back kick...the fact the grenade flew into the stands after being deflected and killed half a dozen people is just bonus style points.

Kharn approves!

[Coteaz returns fire with a Krak grenade - 6 to hit, 4 to wound. The Succubus takes her own cover save...5! No wound!
Succubus uses Fleet to remain at Short Range distance]

Coteaz is charging forward but the Succubus is moving away, clearly she wants to keep things at range for a bit longer.

It would be dumb to fight that Daemon Hammer.

Turn 3 - Short Range

The Succubus fires, looks accurate, there's no cover for Coteaz to take advantage of now and...and the shot just fizzled off as it hit his armor.

Foul! FOUL! That's not according to the script!

[Succubus fires again - 5 to hit...1 to wound!]

Coteaz is laughing now, lobbing a grenade as he rushes in, the Succubus seems distracted by her misfiring pistol.

[Coteaz tosses a Krak grenade - 1 to hit, miss.]

They was both bumping the uglies with the Dice Gawd's Daughter, it is proven so!

Yeah, but she's such a tease, you know she wants it...

Turn 4 - Assault!

With a roar the two combatants both rush forward, ready to end this affair up close and personal.

Kick him in the junk!

NO TAU FIGHTS! KHARN IS AS HAPPY AS HAPPY CAN BE!

The Succubus is blindingly fast compared to the plodding form of Coteaz. The Succubus strikes first and strikes often.

[Succubus has 6 attacks on the charge - 5 hit (1,3,6,3,4,5) Needing 2+ to wound with re-rolls - (6,1,6,6,5) re-roll - 5 = 5 wounds.
Coteaz takes his 2+ saves - 6,2,1,4,1]

THAT'S what I'm talking about. Float like a butterfly and sting like you are using a Mother-Kaine-ing sword coated in deadly toxins!

Indeed, Coteaz is *badly* hurt, the Succubus was all over him, finding chinkc in his armor and sliding in her blade like it was child's play. He is desperate to end this battle now, and the Succubus is taunting him wondering why she was ever worried about entering hand to hand combat in the first place.

She's about to be reminded, here comes the hammah!

His swings look wild, I think the Dice Gawd is still displeased with whatever the Inquisitor did to his Daughter.

Now *I'm* curious, I didn't expect him to have much imagination in that field

[Coteaz has 4 attacks on the charge - (1,3,3,6) With 1 hit he needs 2+ to damage...1]

The Succubus is...oh, now, this is family programing, I really can't describe the gesture she is making.

Hur!

I could translate it for you.

Turn 5 - Assault!

This grueling battle continues, and the Succubus looks ready to finish the whole affair, she unleashes another dazzling display of swordsmanship.

[Succubus attacks, 5 attacks - (1,5,5,1,6) with 3 hits she rolls to wound - (5,2,4)
Coteaz girds his loins and prays to the Space Emperor as he rolls his saves....(6,3,4) Artificer Armor holds firm!]

Aw...aw crud...

STOP!!!!!!!!!

...

...

HAMMAHTIME!

I loathe you.

[Coteaz attacks, 4 swings - (1,3,6,2) only one hit again, to wound...2! (which, though pathetic, is still a wound)
The Succubus rolls dodge - 3!]

Look out, Coteaz, though off balance and reeling from the poison, spins around and...connects! The Succubus is down, the Succubus is down!

Total upset in my opinion.

Kharn is also upset...though in a more general and constant way.



=================================================================================


The crowd is booing as The Succubus is carried off, still seeing stars after that thunderous Daemon Hammer hit.

Mostly I think they're booing the five hour lecture Coteaz gave us about how we're all vile xenos scum who will be purged.

This is why Grey Knights are not invited to any parties anymore.

In any case, the Lord Commisar is out on the field, his weapons ready and he looks pumped up, definitely planning to extend the Imperium winning streak tonight. The Haem looks...almost bored, he's just fiddling with some gear and not even paying attention to the Commissar.

[Initiative rolls - Haem rolls a 1 (5) and Commissar rolls a 2 (5)]

Turn 1 - Long Range

The Commisar starts off at a slow advance, chanting invectives against heresy as he lets out a long range shot with his bolter.

Meanwhile the Haem is planning to introduce ol' Lord Fussy-britches toa little toy we call the Hex Rifle.

[Commissar and Haem fire simultaneously.

Commisar rolls a 1 to hit - miss.
Haem rolls a 5 to hit...and a 6 to wound.

Commisar dives for cover...rolls a 3 for cover and a...6 for his characteristic test]

The Commisar's shot went wild and he's trying to duck down but...no, the Haem hits him clean on in the chest. The Lord Commissar has just been transformed into a crystalline sculpture, the look of horror and anguish on his face, the screams, I tell you, it's, it's...

Hot!

Funny?

I was going to say horrific...

That would have been my second guess.



So that's the opening matches, how do we feel about them?

The Succubus wuz robbed!

That was a very close match, and not for reasons anyone expected.

I liked the part where people bled.

Oh well, at least I can look forward to the Haemonculus making another sculpture out of that jerk Coteaz next round.

Be that as it may, we now have some other matches coming up, I have also been told my request for a special guest host has been granted.

What special guest host? If this is that damn order Kharn put in for, and I quote, "some big bootied babes to hang around me while I flex" then I'll have you know-

It's an Ork.

...

Wait, what happened to my booty babes?

See you next time folks!

The point spread;

alexwellace 1
Archon Farath Mure 1
Aroshamash 2
Barking Agatha 1
Cavash 2
Darkgreen Pirate 1
Enfernux 1
fatyl5 1
KnightSeerValkia 1
Lord Clazaryn 1
Mushkilla 1
NiteOwl 1
Nomic 1
PartridgeKing 1
Ruke 1
Shadows Revenge 1
Siticus the Ancient 1
The_Burning_Eye 1
Tiri Rana 1

Arosmash and Cavash are off to a slight early lead for calling the winner in the very tight Coteaz/Succubus match correctly. Nobody was surprised by the Haem owning face though.

I'll also admit, here it is, fight 3 of the series, and I never wanted to fudge a roll more than that dodge roll Even if the Succubus had got a better drug result it would have seriously upped her chances.

Ah well.

Great, funny and extreamly entertaining! Is the shattershard a short range weapon or can it be used when the opponent charges getting d3 hits? please say you are that biased for the DE and hate grey knights?

Also, can we maybe surgest builds for the "contestents"? ' cause just give the Archon shadowfield, husk blade and CD and call it a day, maybe a soultrap for lulzy perposes, the snivling craftworlders wish there soul to be trapped forever, we can accomadate for that need

I'm fine hearing suggested builds. My usual goal is to build one with the best chance of success.

Bow down and worship the great future foretelling Cavash!

Hmm, maybe I am less Grand Archon Cavash and more Farseer Cavash. Only time will tell. But then I am also Hive Fleet Cavash, Waagh! Cavash and Dark Apostle Cavash. Hmm, it seems that I am rambling on now.

I look forward to the next round. It could be close and probably a complete guess from me.

you made me slightly sad... le-woe-is-me

Stop, Hammahtime lol still, if it werent for the good commentar, i would be very, very sad. GO HAEM!

that fight was as close as I thought it was. Sadly the Succubus had the higher percent chance of winning, but as we saw all it took was 1 hit and she was down and out for the count...

Poor civis though... that grenade to the stands must of hurt...

Succubus died as I feared. Shame, even against such odds as she was, I just had to cheer for the home team. The Haemonculus cleaned up the house with a single shot, as was proper, though.

Can't wait for the next matches!

I can see haemi-boy going all the way here, with his loadout... Pretty brutal...

It is aggressively ID causing, and with the lower toughness values at this point level surprisingly potent.

er... does T values even matter? Since it's a sniper it always wounds on a 4+ and the ID goes against the wounds value, so I'm confused as to your statement Thor...

Been watching this for a while now without commenting but I may have to join in with the next match. Shame about the Succubus dying but I guess I'll just have to root for the Haemy or Archon to win. Nice matchup against an Autarch. Very cool thematically and I would hope it would be a suitably epic duel but I can't see the Autarch standing much chance sadly. Where's that new Eldar Codex? If all else fails and the Deldar participants have to resign to be regrown, perhaps Lelith could jump in?

Ruke, the shattershard works on toughness.

Greetings gentle beings!

It is I, Por'el Sa'cea Leo'lan Jhin, ready to once again bring you exciting news from the arena floor of the Dark Olympiad. With my lovely co-hosts, Lelith Hesperax!



You can't spell happiness without peni-

And, of course, Kharn!



Kharn thinks happiness is more a state of mind than any sexual body organ, it's probably more shaped like a chainaxe too.

And, our extra special guest, Big Boss Badnabz!

There isn't an Ork here, Leo.

But he assured me he'd be here.

Oh, you're saying that there's no way an Ork would lie?

Or, more likely, that there's no way an Ork understands time?

This is not the cultural exchange I'd hoped for.

Truest me, Leo, you're better off. Sure, the Orks are one of the few races in this galaxy that seem to be having a good time, but that doesn't mean they're fun to hang around.

I actually rather like Orks.

I rest my case.

Okay, so maybe we should just check out the next two matches?

Works for me, because it's either that or a murder orgy - I'm game for either.

...let's look at the matches.

Spoilsport.



Some interesting matchups here, a Necron versus a psyker, and what is probably our most iconic matchup of the round, an Ork Warboss versus a Space Marine Captain.

*cough*Archon versus Autarch*cough*

I'm saying Ork takes the whole thing, he's the only thing out there that looks remotely 'not wussy'.

Let's take a look at our lineup, with expert commentary from these two masters of combat with me.

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The iconic psyker of the game...

After Farseers.

Often considered the most affordable HQ in the codex...

After Chaplins.

Um...the stern responsibilities of these ancient protectors of Mankind...

Hurr, he'll come get you if you don't return your books on time! Look out!

I don't think you're taking this seriously, the Librarian here is well equipped to deal with Illuminor Szeras because, with the Quickening, he can force the fight into hand to hand combat quickly, and once there is distinctly a superior fighter who will likely crush his opponent easily.

Aw, the shooty guy might loose? I'm *sooooo* sad.

The Librarian does have the speed advantage, and that will be important to avoid the deadly Necron shooting.


Hey, those are some of my favorite things too.

He's a wuss.

Well, clearly he's going to be trying to win the match via his potent shooting capability, but-

Wussy McWuss from Wussville USA.

Well, okay, but-

Zip code, wuss-wuss-wuss-wuss-wuss.

Are you done now?

Not just yet. Voted 'Most likely to Wuss by the graduating class of Wussville High Wuss...okay, I'm done now.

Well, okay, now, the Necrons are probably not ever going to do too well in close combat, but-

Trololololol - understatement! They would lose in a slap fight with Tau fer crying out loud!!

....

Sorry.

That said, he is basically packing a Blast Pistol with a 36" range - you can't ignore that.

Don't see why not, I ignore lots of things.

Also, though he is likely to be beaten pretty badly in hand to hand combat...he does stand that chance of getting up again, and he doesn't need to do that much damage to finish off the Librarian.

Also, his gaze of flame should hopefully blunt the Librarian's assault...maybe

In conclusion

It's another match of a shooter versus an assaulter, only this time the shooter is actually oddly durable.

Predictions?

Librarian, Fleet and assault potency should see the day through.

I agree with the naked girl.

...yes. Well, I'm going to say I'm predicting Szeras wins it, we've seen how potent an instant death shot is, and all he needs is a moderate run of decent dice to see him glib the Librarian instantly.

=================================================================================


This is a classic matchup, and one I suspect a lot of people are looking forward to. It's a matchup of speed versus durability. Of brawn versus brains. Of green versus smurf blue- what is that stench?


'Ey you lot of runties, I'm 'ere!

Ah, Big Boss Badnabz, so good to get to meet you face to face.

Wotcher?

Would you like to say hello to my fellow hosts, Lelith and Kharn?

Da weedy bint should stay outta my way, and I'm bigger than the other fella, so I'ms still the boss!

Charmed...

Hello Orky man!

I came 'ere to offer my thoughts on this tournament deal ya gots going, so whot's the score?

We're discussing whether an Ork Warboss can defeat a Space Marine Captain.

Hahahahaha! No, really, whots the question?


WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Orks, Orks, Orks!

Well, okay, yes, but let's consider if your prediction really holds out, what are the Warboss' advantages?

He's the biggest so he's the best! He's gonna stomp dem weedy Smurfy Boyz!

This guy is talking a lot of sense right now.

Certainly the Warboss' advantages lie in his Waaagh to force close combat asap, also his Klaw will be a formidable threat.

I also think taking a Kombi-rokkit is a clever plan to use the long range shooting phase to his advantage.

...

What?

He's not going to hit anything with that, seriously now.

He just needs moar Dakka, den it will all work out propah. Besides, he'll just stomp his face in anyways and put the skull onna pointy stick!

Man, it's like you have a window into my brain.


Oh my gawd, I forgot about the weight class point limits, it's a bare bones Captain!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Kharn approves. WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

WAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

Let's get rokkin'!

Um...

In conclusion

Well, it looks like my other hosts are starting to rip stuff up, and may or may not be moving into some sort of murder orgy thing in amongst playing all the loud music. Ah...well, the Captain has an uphill battle, but I will note he hits often and has a lot of swings, and so may win via plurality of onslaught.

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If you wish to compete for prizes, remember that you need to post up your Votes. All Votes should contain the name of the two fighters you predict will win each fight. VOTES MUST BE IN BOLD TO BE COUNTED If I end up missing a vote that was correctly made, please remind me after the end of the battle when I'm posting the leaderboard.

Any vote post that is edited after the battle report is posted up will not be counted and I shall waggle my finger in your general direction.

The poll is there for people to toss out opinions at if they so desire, consider it a third commentator's opinion on who will win the fights.

Boring rules explanation:

The first match is really tough... The librarian is going to suffer one round of fire, at least, but with fleet it IS only one round, so thats a plus. My bet is on the librarian though. There's a good chance that Szeras will not make his shot, and that's all it will take, as he doesn't stand much chance in hand to hand.

The second fight is laughably in favor of the Warboss.

Predictions - Librarian and Warboss